Sissyzen Kane
I’ve had this entrepreneurial concept knocking around my noggin for years now, and I think, finally, that this is the ideal time to put it out there, invite feedback and see what might happen. Who knows? I mean, I’m here, aren’t I, after years of just thinking about writing…so perhaps I’ll don my Wonder Woman t-shirt one more time and venture beyond Themyscira.
I’m not skilled at much of anything, which is to say, there are a lot of talents and abilities out there I don’t possess. Sure, I can cook a mean pot roast, mix a spiffy gin & tonic, keep the kid craft ideas going for hours, and (grammar notwithstanding), I can spell pretty good. However there are myriad capabilities that have remained evasive, and I’d actually started to believe that they might just get permanently filed under Things Erin Can’t Do.
For instance: I’ve always wanted to play basketball. I mean, the Biebs plays basketball, and I think, if she can do it, so can I! Thing is, I don’t have any rapper friends to teach me.
I would also like to learn how to sew…like, on a machine. I own a machine, at least, which is a step in the right direction, and while I managed last years’ Hallowe’en costumes, I shudder to think what would become of a Butterick blouse with me at the helm (hem?)
Then there’s printmaking. I see all this mass-produced stuff at HomeSense and Winners, and just like anyone who stares at a Pollock painting long enough, I inevitably think to myself, “Hell yes, I could do that!” But I don’t know how (ah, there’s the rub!) I could take a course at the local college, yeah, yeah, yeah…but as a 41-year-old woman, do I really want to attend Visual Arts class with 18-year old, über-cool whippersnappers? Uh, no. I’d kill some smug, know-it-all little artiste-to-be, I just know it. How could I know that, you may ask? I attended UWO (the blonde co-ed capital of Ontario) as a mature student. If I didn’t have religion, I’d be incarcerated right now. ‘Nuff said.
Next up: woodworking. I had a great friend once who could saw, hammer, measure, bevel, level, drill, and lathe, and would have taught me, had I asked. Only thing was, I was 20-something at the time and didn’t care; it was something I considered best left in the Realm Of The Boys. Now my friend is frolicking with the angels, and I can’t ask, dangit. He’s up there with his wings and celestial DeWalt tools, laughing at me (but in a really nice way). I even did my university work-study in the Visual Arts wood shop, and I’m still terrified of the table saw, because I know that big piece of pine is gonna kickback and kill me.
Last example: basic car mechanics. I have this belief – no, more like a yearning hope, that if the lives of my children were at stake, I could adequately change a tire on the minivan. But I couldn’t guarantee it. I’d also love to be able to do my own oil changes and general maintenance, and boost the battery without electrocuting myself. I hate getting grease on my hands and under my nails, but I hate to think of myself as terminally useless with motor vehicles even more.
In any case, you get the picture. And I started to think that maybe I’m not the only person who would love to learn something with other peeps-of-a-certain-age. So what I’m proposing is: Old Dogs/New Tricks courses and workshops, so that all those things you coulda-shoulda-woulda learned when you were growing up can be added to your repertoire.
Now taking interviews with potential instructors, facility managers and interested clients!
Erin's Clishmaclaver 